Reading School District

One vision. All students. One Reading.

  
Ten Things
from the book Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm, 2nd edition 
Bronze Medal in Psychology, ForeWord Book of the Year Awards  l 
Reprinted in its entirety with permission of author
 
 
TEN THINGS EVERY
CHILD WITH AUTISM
WISHES YOU KNEW

"I rely on you. All that I might become won't happen without you as
my foundation. Be my advocate, be
my guide, love me for who I am,
and we'll see how far I can go."
 
 
 
Thanks to a professional photographer who volunteered her time and with permission from
famed author Ellen Notbohm, we're shining a spotlight on several of our amazing students, who
are excited to share all of the things they want you know about autism.
 
We hope our multimedia project will generate interest and support long after Autism Awarness Month
in April, and we hope that you'll share this information with your family, friends and colleagues so they'll
better understand how autism affects children -- and what they can do to help.
  
10Things  
 
Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only
consistent attribute—the inconsistency. Autism
can be baffling, even to those who spend
their lives around it.
The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior
can
be perplexing and downright difficult.
 
Autism was once labeled an “incurable disorder,” but that notion has crumbled in the face
knowledge and understanding that increase
even as you read this. Every day, individuals
with autism show us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many
of
autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple
understanding of autism’s basic elements has
a tremendous impact on their ability to
journey towards productive, independent adulthood.
 
Autism is a complex disorder but for purposes of this article, we can distill its myriad
characteristics into four fundamental areas:
sensory processing challenges, speech/language
delays and impairments,
the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues.
And
though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact
that autism is
a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be
completely alike. Every child will be at
a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly,
every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult,
each will have
a unique set of needs.

 

Here are 10 things every child with autism wishes you knew, featuring students from
Mrs. Richter's class:
10Things

I am a child.
 
My autism is part of who I am, not all of who I am. Are you just one thing, or are you a
person with thoughts, feelings, preferences, ideas, talents, and dreams? Are you fat
(overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated)? Those may be things
that I see first when I meet you, but you’re more than just that, aren’t you?
 
As an adult, you have control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out one
characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor
I yet know what I may be capable of. If you think of me as just one thing, you run the danger
of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think
I “can do it,” my natural response will be, why try?
 
10Things
 
My senses are out of sync.
 
This means that ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches that you may not
even notice can be downright painful for me. My environment often feels hostile. I may
appear withdrawn or belligerent or mean to you, but I’m just trying to defend myself.
Here’s why a simple trip to the grocery store may be agonizing for me.
 
My hearing may be hyperacute. Dozens of people jabber at once. The loudspeaker booms
today’s special. Music blares from the sound system. Registers beep and cough, a coffee
grinder chugs. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting
hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
 
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the
guy
standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the
baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle three with
ammonia. I feel like throwing up.
 
And there’s so much hitting my eyes! The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it flickers.
The space seems to be moving; the pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what
I am seeing. There are too many items for me to be able to focus (my brain may compensate
withtunnel vision), swirling fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this
affects how I feel just standing there, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
 
10Things
 
Distinguish between won’t (I choose not to)
and can’t
(I am not able to).
 
It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to
me from across the room, I hear “*&^%$#@, Jordan. #$%^*&^%$&*.” Instead, come over to
me, get my attention, and speak in plain words: “Jordan, put your book in your desk. It’s time
to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now
it’s much easier for me to comply.
 
10Things
 
I’m a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally.
 
You confuse me by saying, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you mean is, “Stop
running.” Don’t tell me something is “a piece of cake” when there’s no dessert in sight and
what you mean is, “This will be easy for you to do.” When you say, “It’s pouring cats and
dogs,” I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Tell me, “It’s raining hard.”
 
Idioms, puns, nuances, inferences, metaphors, allusions, and sarcasm are lost on me.
10Things
 
Listen to all the ways I’m trying to communicate.
 
It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t have a way to describe my feelings.
I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened, or confused but right now I can’t find those words.
Be alert for
body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that tell you something is
wrong. They’re there.
 
Or, you may hear me compensate for not having all the words I need by sounding like a
little professor or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental
age. I’ve memorized these messages from the world around me because I know I am expected
to speak when spoken to. They may come from books, television, or the speech of other people.
Grown-ups call it echolalia. I may not understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just
know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
 
10Things
 
 Picture this! I’m visually oriented.
 
Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And be prepared to show me
many times. Lots of patient practice helps me learn.

Visual
supports help me move through my day. They relieve me of the stress of having to
remember what comes next, make for smooth transition between activities, and help me
manage my time and meet your expectations.
 
I need to see something to learn it, because spoken words are like steam to me; they
evaporate in an instant, before I have a chance to make sense of them. I don’t have
instant-processing skills. Instructions and information presented to me visually can stay
in
front of me for as long as I need, and will be just the same when I come back to them
later. Without this, I live the constant frustration of knowing that I’m missing big blocks of
information
and expectations, and am helpless to do anything about it.
 
10Things
 
Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do.
 
Like any person, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not
good enough and that I need fixing. I avoid trying anything new when I’m sure all I’ll get is criticism,
no matter how “constructive” you think you’re being. Look for my strengths and you will find them.
There is more than one right way to do most things.
 
10Things
 

Help me with social interactions.

It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but it may be
that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or join their play. Teach me how
to play with others. Encourage other children to invite me to play along. I might be
delighted to be included. I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning
and end. I don’t know how to read facial expressions, body language, or the emotions
of others. Coach me. If I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny.
It’s that I don’t know what to say. Talk to me about Emily’s feelings and teach me to ask,
“Are you okay?”

10Things
 

Identify what triggers my meltdowns.

Meltdowns and blow-ups are more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because
one or more of my senses has gone into overload, or because I’ve been pushed past the
limit of my social abilities. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be
prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, and activities. A pattern may emerge.
Remember that everything I do is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot,
how I’m reacting to what is happening around me.
 
My behavior may have a physical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities sleep problems and
gastrointestinal problems can all affect my behavior. Look for signs, because I may not be able
to tell you about these things.

 

10Things
 
Love me unconditionally.
 
Throw away thoughts like, “If you would just—” and “Why can’t you—?” You didn’t fulfill
every expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded
of
it. I didn’t choose to have autism. Remember that it’s happening to me, not you. Without
your support, my chances of growing up to be successful and independent are slim. With
your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think.
 
Three words we both need to live by: Patience. Patience. Patience.
 
View my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as
limitations and see my strengths. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have
you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, or pass judgment on other people?
 
I rely on you. All that I might become won't happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be
my guide, love me for who I am, and we'll see how far I can go.

10Things
 
A big thank you to Emily Yoder-Scheider, RHS Class of 1997, for taking these photos.
And thank you to Lorrie Beard for editing the photos.
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